Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Day +70

2/5/14 – Yesterday I had my weekly check-up and my counts continue to look good. Also, there are no longer any signs of me having CMV, so I no longer need to take medication for that, which is GREAT News!

In addition I was given the first half of my IVIG infusion. I seem to have handled that very well. I will get the remaining dose at my next appointment on Tuesday, February 11th.

With Day 100 just a month away, I am beginning to get excited about getting things back to “normal”. At least as normal as a MCL survivor with a stem cell transplant can be. 
In truth, maybe I am being challenged to be set apart and not normal. I guess it is some to think about.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2

More to come…


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this morning’s interesting read! It sounds like your new normal is beginning to emerge. How to be an MCL and SCT survivor are interesting personal challenges…. Have been for me anyway.

Now that I feel physically “normal” all my old insecurities are back and they are far more annoying than they were before. I do not want to be the least bit concerned with minutia, but I am! In 2012, during my 70 days of hospitalization, I focused on staying alive and being the best wife and mother I could be under very difficult circumstances. Now my focus includes being the best me in other areas. I am back to school and work. I am making choices about my future. My husband and I are working to renew our romantic life. I am trying to put cancer on the back burner, even if I too have an IVIG infusion next Monday and Rituxan on the 17th!

I have to live like I am not threatened by the return of MCL, even if I am.

I am not my cancer and there is no right way to emerge from that “patient” place. For me it has been so very personal. I try hard to live in the moment. I choose, in each and every moment of each and every day, how I want to present to the world.

Ralph and I just got off a cruise and I told no one about my cancer “journey”. I had to choose not to share it. That was a bit of a step for me and success allowed me to consider that I have made progress emotionally.

It seems to me that in life some of us are challenged more than others. I am better because of my cancer journey. It is hard to explain, but I really feel like it has been a whacko gift. I take nothing for granted anymore. I am so very grateful for what I have. I am ok with my new normal and I suspect you will be, too.
Best,
Gina

Rich Franco said...

Hi Gina,
It is always great to hear from you. You certainly raise some thought provoking stuff. Defining “normal” is no simple task. I think it is wonderful how you have truly started the process of living in the moment, focusing on relationships with your loved ones and simply taking your life back.

You do raise a very important point that we need not spend time worrying if we will relapse. With me I made the decision a long time ago to never allow myself to live as a victim. Someone who lives in fear, someone who seeks out sympathy, someone who is not willing to take on all life and all it has to offer… just because of an illness. My MCL may be a part of me but it does not define me.

I do believe things happen for a reason. When I was originally diagnosed (or relapsed) I could have easily played the victim and asked “Why me?” but instead I chose to ask… “Why not me?” Maybe I have been put in my situation for a reason. I just need to seek out the answer to what is expected of me.
There is a great song called “Bring the Rain” by MercyMe that best describes what I am trying to say. The lyrics say:
“Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free. Bring me anything that brings You glory. And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain. But if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus bring the rain.”

Maybe my mission is to show just how faith filled, positive, happy, loving, kind, compassionate, hardworking, creative, etc… one can be… while standing in the rain.

Thanks again,
Be well
Rich